Hopefully, we’ve all learned a few things about red flags and how to identify them (if not, reference previous article titled R & R: Rationalizing Red Flags. Now, it’s time to review some of the Green Flags.
Every so often, we may temporarily get sidetracked while getting to know someone. Rather than focus on the relevant factors, we seem to value the mediocre ones instead. No harm, no foul, right? Well, mistakes are just as natural as the air we breathe. However, as they say, repeated mistakes aren’t defined as mistakes, they’re actually choices. Hopefully, we can break that pattern with a brief review of what relevant signs to look for in a potential mate.
Now, most of these signs are commonly overlooked but therein lays the problem. Ignoring these signs could jeopardize your chances of evolving with your potential mate. Let’s explore.
Before divulging into this subject, it’s important to acknowledge that these are only but a few of the most important characteristics to acknowledge when evaluating a potential mate. Clearly, this list doesn’t cover every possible aspect, however, these items can most certainly strengthen your ideology on what to look out for with your non-exclusive list.
- Steady, comfortable pacing
In any dating situation, pace can quickly make or break things. Just think, how many times have you heard one say “we’re moving too fast” or “I think we should slow down?" Typically, this implies that one feels rushed and possibly overwhelmed. Needless to say, a steady pace is prominent. In the ideal situation, both parties are too busy enjoying each other to even concern themselves about pace.
Why this is a green flag: If your potential partner allows things to develop naturally rather than soar into label things, they likely comprehend that labels don’t always define the situation. Simply calling someone your boy/girlfriend does nothing to support the authenticity of the situation itself. If the situation doesn’t warrant the label, it’s pointless to categorize so soon.
As a wise person once said, “if you rush into something, you’ll rush right back out of it.” Now, of course, it can be discomforting to hear your potential mate reveal how they prefer to take things slow when you’re more than ready to move forward with things. However, if he/she has to convey those words to you aloud, clearly, you two are moving at different paces. In short, listen if/when they express those things. Mutually agreeing to take time to allow things to develop and evolve is quintessential. This thought process exhibits patience in a mate, a quality most necessary in a relationship.
Much like going to the gym, communication is an exercise that must constantly be practiced. Doing so allows one individual to understand the other by not only talking, but listening as well. If/When your potential mate can express themself and listen interchangeably, it’s definitely a good sign of things to come.
Why this is a green flag: Currently, communication is a scarce practice. Being with someone who prefers to communicate can prove to be a true blessing. Misunderstandings, assumptions and drawing conclusions are all common symptoms of a lack of communication in relationships. Having a potential mate that values communication is a sign of a structured and mature approach to situations. Fun fact: Resolving arguments and/or disagreements by night’s end is a healthy practice amongst couples, even if the outcome is agreeing to disagree. Allowing things to fester heightens the possibility of allowing things to develop into bigger issues, thus creating tense environments between each other.
Modesty has proven to be a quality most individuals gravitate to. Meanwhile, arrogance and unrealistic perspectives/expectations are both qualities that often cause individuals to stray. Remaining humble not only keeps one grounded, but it also keeps one foot grounded in reality. Rather than take the simple things for granted, humbled individuals appreciate the small things that encompass integrity in life.
Why it’s a green flag: A potential mate who’s humble will likely be better equipped with acknowledging what’s most important in life. While confidence is quite the valued characteristic, remembering that the little things are what matter most is a trait not carried by the ladder. One can still be confident minus the arrogance and condescending nature. Humbled individuals tend to factor in heavily with reducing stress as well. This quality births a mutual appreciation of one another within the relationship.
- Mutual goals
Having individual goals is always a step in the right direction. It demonstrates how one intends to better themselves. However, having common goals along with your potential mate is a good sign of future endeavors. It usually indicates there’s a strong possibility of crafting projects together, big or small. Additionally, shared values denote a high chance of strengthening the compatibility between mates. If one of you aims to only achieve mediocrity while the other sees the sky as the limit, issues may arise.
Why it’s a green flag: We all want the most out of life. Therefore, finding someone on the same sheet of music as you makes it even more fulfilling during the journey. If your potential mate has those same desires, it assists with putting you two in sync with each other, effortlessly. Statistics show that couples that build together exhibit higher success rates. While going to the movies and/or dinner is a wonderful way to spend time together, purchasing property, obtaining financial security or establishing wealth is a much more valued activity.
- Complementing each other
Giving each other compliments is great. Doing so acknowledges them or one of their many features while at their best. However, complementing each other is an entirely different concept (notice the spelling difference; compliment vs complement). In short, complementing each other is enhancing each other’s stature. If you and your potential mate amplify each other it’s a positive sign pointing in the right direction.
Why it’s a green flag: As a musical artist once said, “I’m a movement by myself, but I’m a force when we’re together." Yes, you could function independently, but when you’re able to combine yourself with another entity and become an unstoppable force, it’s not to be reckoned with. This involves both parties however. One can’t expect the other to complement them without giving them something to complement as well, food for thought.
At times, you or your potential mate may lack in some areas. You may be more of a homebody while they’re more outgoing. You may be more spontaneous while they’re more structured. As they say, opposite indeed attract. However, having every single characteristic in common is actually unhealthy. Having differences amongst yourselves can prove to be the glue that keeps you too together.
Why it’s a green flag: Everything must have balance. If you’re the homebody, your potential mate can help you get out more. Simultaneously, you can help them with not needing to be outdoors each and every weekend. If you’re the spontaneous one, your potential mate could help you think before you act. The list goes on but ultimately, differences allow you two to learn from each other and stay well rounded. Where you may lack, they may excel. Vice versa.
- Best friend
The widespread concept is that one must be a friend before being anything else. Although most people cautiously disagree in fear of being placed in the dreaded friend zone, it’s been proven how true this concept really is. Research has shown that throughout some of the most successful relationships, mates have been the best friend, lover and soul mate. Having a potential mate whom can navigate between the three duties is a cherished act.
Why it’s a green flag: Having a mate that’s also your best friend is no short of a win. As it stands, your mate should (in fact) be your very best friend of all. Who better to be your mate than the one person you can be completely comfortable with and interact with unrestricted? More so, when your potential mate knows how and when to shift between the various duties (best friend, lover, soul mate) its a great sign of having the complete package. It’s a sure sign of compatibility.
- Able to teach you things
Learning each other’s habits, characteristics and mannerisms is a normal observation that is usually accomplished subconsciously. However, learning from each other is very much different. Education doesn’t end with the school system. So yes, your potential mate should be well capable of introducing new information to you as well. Whether it’s alternative approaches to situations or different methods of coping with stress, your mate should have no qualms with providing you with new ideals. Of course, you must be receptive of it.
Why it’s a green flag: If/When your potential mate can teach you things, it’s certainly a good sign. Any item that can assist you with your own growth is nothing short of productive. If your mate is doing so, it’s an indication of care and considerateness as it relates to your evolvement. Additionally, these actions also make you a better individual, which is also a task each mate should be completing for each other.
As you can see, there are several items that can indicate that you’ve found a mate with potential. The above eight areas are simply a few to get you on the right wavelength of thinking. No matter the case, the most important item to recognize when evaluating a potential mate is: yourself. People, whether healthy or unhealthy to our well-being, are only as toxic as we allow them to be. Therefore, our greatest opposition is our self and our own radar. The signs are there, we just have to recognize them. Food for thought, as always.